FEBRUARY 14. The international day of love.
Also known as an opportunity for all the loved-up couples to smugly rub their happiness in the faces of all us singles.
If you're single and have woken up to a torrential downpour of social media posts containing pictures of cuddly toys, red roses and heart-covered cards, you're probably neck-deep in a box of chocolates right about now.
Valentine's Day, if you're alone, is enough to make you sick. Not just love sick, but actually physically ill from the copious amounts of sugar you are compelled to consume throughout the day.
Because, let's face it, it's nearly impossible to distance yourself from the overwhelming display of PDA (public display of affection) on this day.
But rather than give even more attention to Central Queensland's many happy couples showering each other in romance today, we've chosen to help out all the eligible bachelors and bachelorettes looking for love in the region instead.
The Observer has compiled a list of keen singles in Gladstone, all of which are ready to be struck by Cupid's arrow.
So, hold onto your hearts, Gladdy, you are about to be swept away on our #loveboat.
Cameron Kurtz, 38, is a "finely tuned athlete, looking for love" according to his mates.
Blake McNeight is 6'3" tall. Yesterday was his birthday so his friends think he is "fine-tuned to find true love" today.
Even though his mates don't think he's the "sharpest crayon in the box", he has looks on his side.
Desperate to partner up their "young whipper snapper" mate, Blake's friends said he enjoyed getting tattoos and sucking down a coldie with his mates on weekends.
Krue Darley doesn't mind a good session at Average Joe's gym.
His friends say he has a "very caring heart for the girls" and will "even dog the boys to drink white wine and eat crackers with cheese to watch the sunset on a Saturday".
They said he was the "bachelor of the year if (they) ever saw one".
Dion Jacobi has been described as the "best piercer" and a great, down-to-earth human being.
His mate said he might also make an "amazing dad".
Ricky Williams, 21, is known as a complete gym junky with a great sense of humor.
His friends say he is "respectful and a caring, all round good guy".
Jake Mackay is in his early 20s.
His mates said he is an "instagram fitness model and was voted best participator for his soccer club in 2014".
"If you are interested in a man of this calibre and are willing to be the third into his existing relationship with ice cream, don't be afraid to message him," they encouraged.
Mitch Browning, 19, is a six-foot-tall cowbow according to friends.
He "has a filthy mullet and an 80 series cruiser". His friends claimed Mitch wouldn't be found "wearing anything else besides his Akubra, his work shirt and his favourite pair of boardies".
Mitch also doesn't mind long walks along the beach. What's not to love?
**Sorry guys but we don't just need more, we need someone.
Gladstone and Central Queensland is colloquially known as a pretty blokey places. Well, it seems we've officially been able to back that up today, given the lack of bachelorettes on this list!
But surely there's a few people out there... So if you have a single lady who deserves to be on this list, let us know in the comments below.
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